Hi all…  I’ve been called out and schooled for not writing these last few weeks.  I know I owe you all an update for sure.  I’m so sorry.  Lots has been happening in the land of the brain explosions and psychopath victim world of mine.  I’ve also been to two weddings, worked a shit ton on a crazy ass project, was slipped a roofie, (yes, you read that one right — you will hear about this when I’m good and ready to actually talk about it), and met some cool ass people….  (Betsey Johsnon and Tyson Beckford are both fun and awesome it seems….)……I’ve also even survived the passing of the amazing  Joan Rivers, as sad as that was for me.

I was lucky enough to meet Joan Rivers i n February of 2012.  Up until that time, I had a love hate relationship of my own with her.  She didn’t know me in the slightest, but I remember reading the People Magazine article about her husband’s suicide when I was just a tyke and feeling bad about it…  I also remember thinking it was cool that her daughter was also named Melissa — and I felt very sad for their loss of Edgar.  How sucky was that for them? Awful.  Just awful.

My self described “hate” for Joan wasn’t really ever a hate — I just remember the drama of her leaving Johnny Carson to go to FOX, and I recall not really understanding what that meant — and being conflicted.  But the reality is that every time I saw Joan on anything, I loved her.  Especially her daytime talk show from the 90s.  That was a staple of my grad school TV watching.  And I LOVED Joan.

I was lucky enough to actually meet Joan in 2012 because I volunteered to help the marketing staff of my parent company with a fashion show at New York Fashion Week.  I was assigned to help the Fashion Police (and Joan) shoot their news segment.  And it was a blast.  Joan was so nice…  so friendly – and a true showman.

We had a funny conversation that I believe was recorded via her microphone, and so I searched back to my emails during that time period and cut and pasted the paraphrased conversation I sent to my friends and Fucker about the famous interchange with Joan herself.

Melissa Menta’s conversation with Joan Rivers……… Begin:
Imagine Joan back stage at New York Fashion Week.. She’s
interviewing random people involved with the show we’re at…models, designers, etc.
She walks past me with two cameras on her and says:

“Models always walk with their vaginas out front.”

I laugh out loud.

Joans sticks the microphone in my face and says “Do you walk with your vagina
out in front of you?”

Me: “Not really”

Joan: “Well, how do you walk?”

Me: “Normally.”

Joan: “What do you do at these types of show?”

Me: “I’m not normally at these types of shows.”

Joan: “Why not? What do you do?”

Me: “I’m just a publicist.” Entire crew starts laughing their asses off
since most fashion publicists are snobby when they say what they do.
Everyone is trying to sound important back stage.  I honestly did not care.

Joan: “How did you feel when you woke up today? Did you feel like you looked
good?”

Me: “No, not really.”

Joan: “How do you feel like you look now?”

Me: “Same. Sort of tired and hungry.”

Joan: “Me too.”

Continued random back and forth. Then the crew breaks us up.

Me: “Joan, my name is Melissa, and I’m the same age as your daughter. I’m a fan.”

Joan: “I knew there was a reason why I liked you.”

So there you go.  She also went on to say that she liked the zipper on my dress.  This was my one and only exchange with the late and great Joan Rivers.  She was incredibly cool if I say so myself.

Last week, the LA Times posted a piece about her 2010 documentary.  Totally random, but they used a photo of Joan backstage at the show I was at with her.  Here’s the photo.  I have now made the LA Times for my brush with greatness with the late Ms. Joan Rivers.

I was Joan’s randomly assigned caretaker that day… look closely.  I am not to easy to spot… But I will remember it forever.