Okay. I deleted Friday night’s post since that was just a draft and it was meant to be saved in “drafts” not “published”… I realize there were typos, etc. My plan was to fix those today, make some edits and THEN post. Sorry. As a blogger, I feel that was very unprofessional of me. And since that was a Fucker related one, I wanted it to be good. Oh well. If you’re following my blog, you know I’m a bit… well, quirky… and I’ll get back to my journey through getting over Fucker and all the lies he told me another day. Now I’m on to other topics.

Next week, I’m going to Italy. A group of friends of mine (the usual suspects — Brian, Cris and Kamil — and this time Conrad, Cris’ mother, and Brian’s parents) are going back to the Villa in Tuscany that my family has gone to many times through the years. I’m sort of freaking out because work is crazy busy. I’ll probably have to check email while I’m there — but I’m also really excited to be going back to the Villa since the last time I was there was just weeks before my brain exploded. The summer of face tingling and general nonsense – like Fucker apparently getting married again but not telling me.

As I plan for this upcoming Italian adventure, I am reminded about many of the “trips” I’ve taken.  In the last ten years, I’ve had a rule that I needed to go to a new country every year.  However, head explosions and other medical emergencies have prevented that goal from happening in recent years, and I actually haven’t been to a new country since 2010, when I finally went to Spain.  Spain is sort of a basic country in Europe to have not been to, so I’m glad I finally made it.  I mean, I had already been to England, Scotland, Switzerland, Italy, France, Austria, Germany, Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Portugal, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Korea, Thailand. Argentina, Chile, practically every tropical island in the Caribbean plus Bermuda, Mexico, and Portugal before I actually made it to Spain. Some of these countries I had been to multiple times even — but nope — I had never been to Spain — other than to transfer  in Barcelona to a flight to Florence one time.

Many of my friends have traveled way more than me.  For example, I believe Kamil has been almost everywhere.  And Maria has too.  She’s always off in some random country doing something good and weird that I would never do — like studying plants, dirt and people.  She is actually extremely impressive.  My trips usually involve eating and drinking a lot. And her trips actually do something good for others.  One of my friends went to visit her in the rain forest one time.  (I of course would never had done that — because of the snakes.)  And when this friend, who had never met Maria before, first saw her, she was hiking through rainforest mud in knee high mud and mud boots like that was a typical day in the neighborhood.  I think they found Maria by talking to the man with a donkey by the way.  Maria told them to go to a town and find a man with a donkey who could bring them to her.  She is hilarious.  I’m so proud of her — and I’m glad she is doing good for the world on her trips since I am clearly not doing much but keeping the grape and wine industries in business on mine.

My biggest trip though — wasn’t to another country — it was the trip I went on in the second hospital.  Can we say “hallucinations?”  I was nuts in the second hospital.  (I’m sure I was in the first as well, but I have zero recollection of that hell hole.)  Having your head bleed and then drilled into hurts like a mother fucker.  Most of the second hospital trip is very foggy to me, but here are the things that I do remember.

1.  I remember I had a nurse whose name was also Melissa. She braided my hair so less of it had to be shaved.

2.  I remember people crying when they saw me. Fucker wasn’t the only one who seemed upset when they came in to to see me.

3. I remember feeling like I was being “viewed” by people.  Like I was dead and they were literally at my coffin viewing me.

4. I remember wanting wine.  I remember asking the hospital food delivery man for his wines by the glass list.

5.  I remember drinking smoothies that Liz and Meggin brought me. I think others brought them too.

6. I remember Liz bringing me some funny socks.  I still have them.

7.  I remember wincing in pain and being really mad about the shunt.

8. I remember screaming to my mother that my “cooch” hurt and having her tell me not to refer to my lady parts in such a vulgar way.  But seriously, the catheter was really irritating.

9.  I remember braking out into a sweat and hearing music playing that everyone would tell me actually wasn’t playing at all.  Cris told me to write it all down.  Here’s a note I wrote to myself on August 28th at 7:07pm word for word and exact punctuation: “Hot. Sweaty. 645…….hearing some honkey music on a loop. Hear Stevie meowing once in a awhile. hear Ilona and my brother. 6:50 Elton John. Your Song. 7:05 loud bells. Church. 7:06 Dolly Partons I Will Always Love.you.”

10. I remember Kamil walking around my bed and telling me she was going to London.

11. I remember wanting to go to the US Open to see Chance Blakely.  I remember Cris and Brian going without me.

12. I remember my mother trying to get me to eat something.  I want to say it was bad pizza, but I’m not certain.

13. I remember taking this selfie, which I still love to this day.  I rarely look cool — and I think I look cool in this photo. I sent it to a lot of people. I think it shocked a lot of them.  But I was sort of more into the fact that I looked as cool as Lisbeth Salander in it.

14. I remember Fucker holding my hand. He was standing to my left.  I think he was getting ready to go to either the RNC or DNC.  Knowing that he works for the right wing cable station, he was probably going to the RNC.

15. I remember my father with his arm around my shoulder asking me if I wanted him to tell anyone what happened to me.  He emailed my friend Melissa in LA, who had been good to him when he was in the hospital the previous summer.  She already knew what had happened because Helene had told her — so she wasn’t shocked by his one sentence email that said I had a brain aneurysm and was undergoing treatment.

16. I remember telling Scott Adams that I had a brain aneurysm, and he told me he had spoken to me twice about this already.  I think the same thing happened with Maria too.

17.  I remember hearing my brother talk in the other room, and my mother telling me that there was no other room and that my brother was in California.

18.  I remember my brother actually coming to NYC to see me and me telling him I absolutely needed new Beats by Dre headphones — so he went out and bought some for me… thanks, Mike!

19. I remember looking out over the East River and hallucinating and seeing the tides swirl around in these huge massive tidal wave spirals.  Like big waves. Like the ones you only see in movies about the world ending.

20. I remember Dr. McHottie telling me that I was going to be okay.  And I remember telling him that I didn’t want my shunt.

21.  I remember the nurse and doctor telling me that I would probably be in the hospital for another week doing things like learning how to brush my teeth and walking again.  I remember telling them that I knew how to brush my teeth and walk. They didn’t believe me.  So I got up and walked to brush my teeth.

22.  I got out of the hospital a day or so later I think.  It’s all very hazy.

Here’s a photo I posed for on a glacier in Patagonia. This was when I was still going to the amazing boot camp.  I shot this for Ruben and Alex, but this is me conquering the world!