Lots of things amused me this morning.  The homeless man who is regularly at my subway station is a great and prolific orator.  Today, as I got onto a crowded car, I overheard him making declarations about lesbians.  Honestly, he had me at hello, but when he stated very loudly, “Once you are bitten by a lesbian, you will become a lesbian 72 hours later,” I couldn’t stop…  Seriously, I started laughing out loud.  (By the way, I never ever use the acronym LOL…. I don’t really like it. I just say I’m laughing out loud. Because that’s what I’m doing, and I take the time to tell you that if you or whatever situation is doing that to me.)  Anyway, I wasn’t the only one who started laughing out loud. I think the entire subway car was cracking up.  I was thinking to myself, does this homeless man know that zombies are really trendy?  Does he somehow watch The Walking Dead? I don’t know– but it was hilarious.  And I loved my homeless man even more than I normally do.  (He often says amusing things.)

The other great and amusing thing that happened to me this morning was that my friend Matt sent me the photo above of the Winebulance and wrote the two words “speed dial.”  (I have multiple friends named Matt. This Matt is working with me and my friend Cannon on a Snoopy project right now.  Nearly every Friday, we sign off for the weekend and wish each other well and a happy happy hour for that night.) So, at any rate, this image was perfect — and I laughed out loud again.  In fact, it was so funny, that I sent the image to my friends Cris, Liz, and Brian.  Cris and Liz immediately picked up on the brilliance of the Winebulance and an amazing conversation was sparked. Turns out, Cris, Liz and I would like to run our own Winebulance in New York.  (Brian ignored us completely.)  I personally don’t want to drive a Winebulance — because that would require me to not drink wine to do so — but I’d be part of that business in NYC.  I would.  I think it would work.

On the topic of wine, I will say that I was 5 years old the first time I was tipsy.  My mother is still mortified 39 years later.  It happened by accident.  It really did.  I was the flower girl in a wedding.  After the wedding, before the dinner, there was an old fashioned train ride through the California Redwood trees.  Being a cute flower girl and all, I walked throughout the train and chatted with all the guests.  Each guest gave me a little sip of champagne to celebrate the moment.  After a kabillion sips of champagne that no one (including my parents) knew was a kabillion, I was blotto.  (Remember, this was way back in time that booze wasn’t as bad as people consider it to be now.)  At any rate, still to this day, if you mention to my mother that I got seriously tipsy at 5, she winces.  It really does make her feel bad.  To me, it’s amusing and hilarious.  I remember people shoving sourdough bread into my mouth to sober me up.  Ha. It’s so bad, it’s good. I’m alive, aren’t I? I mean, I nearly died — but not from champagne on the train ride!

Again, my apologies that last night’s Mad Men post got mostly deleted.  Not sure what happened there.  It was just a total tech fuck up.

Now, everyone, please go like the Winebulance Facebook page!!!!  Have a good night.