I watched the last episode of The Good Wife tonight.  Do not read further if you don’t want a spoiler. Fuck, man… Will is dead.  I am so super bummed.  I love Josh Charles and don’t know what I will do without him on that show.  No literally, I think I might love him.  I’ve loved him since he was the love sick kid in Dead Poets Society.  I always thought he was adorable.  If I saw him on the street today, I’d go up to him and profess my love for him.  He is probably one of the only celebs I’ve ever thought that I would actually pull a crazy fan obsession on…..It’s bad.

Josh Charles was in the The Little Owl (a GREAT restaurant with amazing meatball sliders) one night when I wasn’t there.  My friend Susan was. She and her mother spoke to him. Apparently he was nice and charming (of course, he was… I love him, so he was amazing…) Anyway — if you are a Good Wife fan, you will know why last night’s episode was just heartbreaking.  Alicia was devastated– and what killed me was the last voicemail she had from Will — one that she will never ever figure out.  It’s so sad.  It’s so torturous.  The love of her life. She will never ever know what he wanted. They were what the world calls “soul mates”…..

My last voicemail from Fucker was not mysterious.  It was not romantic.  It was not unclear.   We were definitely not soul mates.  I know.  I know all too well what he wanted. He wanted me to do him a favor.  He left me a 34 second voicemail  (that I still have on my phone) stating that he understood why I would go all “scorched earth” on him, but that he’d appreciate me leaving his “wife” (who I had just learned existed the day previous) out of it.  When I got it, I was sort of in shock-as I was for days after that email.  1.  I didn’t know what the fuck “scorched earth” meant.  I had to google it.  It’s a war term apparently.  Must be from his years as a producer at CNN and Fox News.  He knows all these weird military terms that normal people don’t know or use.  2. “Scorched Earth” was basically him saying he would understand why I would try to diss him completely to everyone I knew and try to ruin him. 3.  I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to ask me to spare anyone for him. After writing me such a terrible and callous email.  I mean, I get it.. I think his wife is most likely innocent.  I’m not positive. If she is still married to him today, she isn’t. She must be just as mentally screwed up as him if she stayed with him.  But if she isn’t, then I totally get not hurting her.  I didn’t know she existed — there’s a HUGE chance, she didn’t know I did.  I don’t have any ill will toward her at all. At all.  I just think the whole situation is nuts.  But him asking me for a FAVOR after doing what he did to me for many, many years with no apology is just sick.  Sick.

Some people I know get upset when I write such posts like this. They’re a lot on the honestly level — I know.  But truly, I feel better when I tell the world. Fucker is a Fucker.  He deserves to be written about. He really does. If I don’t write about him, then I am the victim….

Lastly. A friend of mine today got upset when I referred to myself as a Cat Lady.  Honestly, if you read the New York Times article this week about cat ladies, you will feel empowered. It’s a good term, not a negative one.  Love it. Own it.  Be it.

Namaste.