As we all know by now, I’ve dedicated 2014 to some things new.  Not EVERY thing (I mean I’m not going to stop drinking wine for god sakes) — but SOME things new. This weekend had a lot of that in it.  And you all were no help with my writer’s block (pretty much everyone wanted me to write about something different — there was no consensus, there was no verve, there was no clear direction.  It was an epic fail on your part.)  So … after thinking about it all week, I decided in my hot yoga class today that I would write about my weekend.  And by the way, it wasn’t just hot yoga today. It was sweltering hot yoga.  I think I got rid of all the old water in my body.  I am now drinking new water to replace the 18,000 pounds of sweat that I lost thanks to one of my favorite hot yoga weirdo teachers, Evil G.  (He specifically requested that I call him that name when I gave him an evil look after that hard ass class this afternoon.  Damn, Evil G., that was rough!  But in theory, you kept me consistent with the out with the old (sweat) and in with the new (water)…..So thank you.)

So here are the momentous things I did this weekend besides drink wine and do yoga:

1.  I went through all of my books, packed them up into two big suitcases and took them all to the Housing Works Bookstore in SoHo.  I was thrilled that I could actually find a charity that would accept my totally random assortment — I mean, I even had a Japanese textbook on my shelf.  The only thing that did bum me out was that I could not find a charity who would actually pick up my books… I didn’t really want to have to leave the apartment to donate them, but unfortunately, I could not find a non-profit that would come to me — so I packed up my suitcases full of books and dragged them down the street to find a cab.  I was sort of worried that people would think I was lugging dead bodies or rocks — the suitcases were incredibly heavy and cumbersome…  And when I finally got a cab outside of Wafels and Dinges (which is very near my apartment), I could barely get them into the trunk.  The cab driver didn’t offer to help me — which pissed me off.  But it turns out that he just had shoulder surgery and wasn’t allowed to lift anything. So I forgave him.  I had shoulder surgery in 2010– and that shit sucks.  

At any rate.  All is well now.  Housing Works has my books — and the only ones that remain are the special ones that are signed to me — or mean something to me for some reason. 

2.  Getting rid of my books was so exciting, that it sent me into a weird and productive spiral (very unusual for me on a weekend.)  I decided I needed to get rid of my CDS, so I packed them all up and then tried to figure out what to do with them.  I went online — found services that will download and digitize them for you — I considered doing that, but then I realized I would have to lug them to work to mail them, which sounded dreadful.  Then I thought maybe I should just try to digitize them myself?  But GUESS WHAT?  New computers don’t have disc drives!!!!  No joke.  My brand new 2014 MacBook (not the cheap one even) does not have a disc drive. That’s how old news CDs are!!!!!  You can’t even play them on a new computer.

Because Cris is an Apple junkie, I sent him a text rant about my new Macbook and that I didn’t know what to do since it lacks a CD drive — and of COURSE he offered me a portable CD drive that I could borrow. He has everything you need tech wise.  He loves to go over to people’s apartments and set up things for them.  A few years ago, he and I went over to Fucker’s apartment (well — who knows if that was REALLY his apartment?, but we went over to one that he said was his and set up his Apple TV for him — that I fucking gave him for Valentine’s Day.  Can you hear me grumbling and sighing now in frustration? What an asshole. He took free IT help from me and Cris and got a new Apple TV from it…  Fucker really is a Fucker.  UGGGGGHHHH.)  Anyway, at that time, all we asked for in exchange for helping him was wine.  It’s really quite a lot of fun to have us over.  We are amusing to be around I think. If anyone would like to book me and Cris for a wine and Apple TV set up night, let me know.  We are very popular though and our calendars are full, so I can’t promise any particular dates.

So now after all that ranting, and thanks to Cris, I am digitizing all of my CDs (as I type), so that I can get rid of all these dusty OLD plastic containers of CDs.  It will take forever, but whatever. It will be good.  By the way, what do I do with them when I’m done?  Can I just dump them into the recycle bin?  They’re plastic, right?  Oh no.  I just realized that even though I solved my digitizing problem, I still don’t know what to do with my CDs.  Fuck.  Someone at least tell me how to EASILY get RID of them.  I must get rid of them! I hate them.

3.  Okay.  To recap.  My books are gone.  My CDs are almost gone… Hopefully. That’s two old things that are now gone.  I’m now making room for the new things! And one NEW thing I made way for this weekend, was my friend’s new life.  She got married yesterday — and Cris, Brian, myself, the two Lizzes, Brett and Nick all went to New Jersey to celebrate with her.  My favorite part of the evening was when the DJ told the bride and groom that they had to try to do something interesting dance wise.  He was like “UH, bride and groom, can you at least try a twirl?”  or “How about a dip?”…  It was funny — but the great thing about it was that they weren’t doing any fancy tricks, because they were really just enjoying talking to each other while they danced.  It was nice. And my jaded ass bitchy heart grew three sizes — just like the Grinch when he realized that Christmas is coming in Whoville no matter how he tries to resist it.

So in conclusion, I feel pretty good about this weekend.  I’m really happy for my newly married friend Jen.  And despite the sweltering hot, hard and weird yoga that I actually did love, it’s been a decent couple of days.  I couldn’t really think of what to say about anything blue other than I am trying hard not to be blue about gaining all my brain explosion weight back.  I mean, fuck.  I almost died.  I can’t be upset about a couple of pounds.  At least that is what I keep telling myself.

Namaste.