This is me way back during my medical leave.  In bed of course, since I love sitting in bed all day.  (I'm in bed now.)  I have no idea if this was taken during the day — or at night. If it was night, there was probably wine involved.  I love eye masks even though I have blackout shades in my bedroom. I just sleep better.  I always take the free ones that United offers business class lucky ducks like me on transcontinental flights.  So I have dozens of them.  If you and I ever go on vacation together, I will be able to supply you with an eye mask and any sort of sleeping pill or ear plug you could possibly want.  I'm loaded.  

This photo is dated a week before my eyeball surgery, so that means I couldn’t see a goddamn thing out of my right eye. I just saw black fuzzy and swirly dots of blood floating around.  Definitely made typing or reading a huge issue.  I was back at work by this time — which was also practically impossible for me.

The furry cute cat next to me is Macy.  She is often perched or sleeping right next to my face. She loves me — and even kisses me on the cheek every once in a while. How do cats know how to kiss?  It’s amazing.  She also sticks her paws underneath my eye mask and pats my eyelids when she wants me to wake up.  She’s really smart, unlike her retarded brother Stevie, who mostly sleeps at the bottom of the bed or near my butt. 

Yesterday, I noticed that my growing-out-brain-shave-hair-bangs finally are long enough for me to hook them behind my ears.  That was really exciting for me, since I hate my big clump of growing out bangs — Now that they’re behind my ear, you don’t notice them as much.  The photo below is an example of what my hair looked like as it was growing back. The only thing I like about this photo is that I was still brain explosion skinny at the time.  I’m back to my normal body again now, which bums me out.  Brain explosion skinny was fun for awhile. I do also realize that I look blue and incredibly ill here — so don’t worry — I know it’s better to be in my healthier state now.  

Ok.  So here’s the point of this blog entry.  Lots of things have happened since my brain exploded on August 17, 2012.  Here are a few momentous milestones  (not necessarily in historical order — but sort of):

1.  I got out of the hospital and FINALLY got the wine I was begging for almost incessantly throughout my near death — and yes I know how bad that sounds… but it’s true.   Almost seconds after I got back to my apartment, my father poured me a big goblet of wine and made me and everyone with us his famous grilled cheeses.  Apparently, my friends Meggin and Brian started to freak out that maybe my father wasn’t the right post-hospital caretaker for me — but it was EXACTLY what I needed.  (My mother had gone home by this time since my brother’s second daughter was due to be born any second.)

2. I got my head staples out a week later. I think.  That was good.  I really didn’t like having metal staples in my head.  Just like I really don’t like my ugly ass brain shunt.  Sadly, I’m stuck with that.

3. I got to eat my favorite food from Il Posto Accanto again.  Il Posto is basically my main food haunt.  I’m there all the time.  It’s amazing.  The food is sickly good — and the wine is too.  Please don’t go there.  I like it just the way it is and don’t want it to get too crowded.  Anyway, once I got out of the hospital, I called Vinny to place an order — and he said “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”  Like he was insulted I hadn’t been in there for so long.  Of course, after I explained to him what had happened, he forgave me. In fact, I think Il Posto gave me many gratis meals and glasses of wine during my recovery.  It’s my home away from home.

4.  I got a manicure and pedicure. I think this happened actually before my staples were removed.   A few days after my father left to go back home, two of my college friends flew in to take care of me.  I couldn’t really leave the apartment, so they just sat with me drinking wine and eating takeout Posto food.  I knew I needed my nails done badly, so I called my favorite place. The owner answered the phone, and like Vinny, asked me in a very accusatory tone where I had been lately.  I explained, and then I asked her if there was any way for me to pay her (whatever it cost) to send Nancy to my apartment for my nails.  She was noncommittal but took my number, and we hung up.  Luckily, someone overheard the conversation and told Nancy what had happened. Nancy then stole my phone number from the owner’s notebook and called me a few hours later.  She was over at my apartment the next day doing my nails. To this day, Nancy comes to my apartment to do my nails. (She also does my friends’ nails, so if you want to come over and get a manicure, let me know.)  I owe Nancy so much gratitude for her dedication to me and my nails.  I’m tearing up as I write this. She’s the best.

5.  Dora started coming to my house twice a week to help me clean the apartment from all the visitors who were over all the time.  You will hear a lot more about Dora when I interview Cris about the day he and my group of friends came to save me.  Dora is also my friend and housekeeper.  She knows almost everyone in my life, and I’m Facebook friends with her mother in Poland.  Dora still comes to me twice a week even though I’m technically capable now — because she is amazing — and I too am grateful for her.

6.  I had sex again.  Sadly — it was with Fucker the Psychopath. But at the time, he was very nice about the whole thing — and when I started crying after, he seemingly understood what a big deal that was for me.

7. I flew on an airplane.  The first time I went through security freaked the shit out of me. Even though my doctor told me that my shunt wouldn’t go off in security, I was still really stressed about it.  Luckily, it did not go off that time. It has however, gone off ONCE in the last year.  Not sure why — but it did.  And the security man asked me if I had a metal hair clip in my hair. And I replied, “No, but I have a pipe in my head.”  He then looked uncomfortably at me and let me pass.

8. I did yoga again.  Alyssa is my amazing yoga teacher, and she came to my apartment to help me.  I cried because I could barely do a downward dog.  It was awful, but Alyssa was patient — and I’m now back to my regular yoga self.  Alyssa still comes to my place every once in a while when I need a break from the hot yoga weirdos.  Or I see her at the hot yoga place because she is also a teacher there.  You are allowed to go to her class if you can figure out the name of my secret, but amazing yoga studio.

9.  I went back to Flywheel (just a few times… I had to do it to prove I could.)  The doctors say I survived the brain explosion because I was in such good cardio shape.  That was at the time because of my dedication/addiction to Flywheel.  Ruth, the owner and founder of that amazing spin place, welcomed me back personally — and booked me and my friends free bikes on a Sunday afternoon.  I cried of course.  All throughout the 45 minute spin… Just cried. No one noticed because it’s dark in there.  I can’t tell you how much I’ve cried since this all happened.  That being said, I’m glad I went back and did it.

10. I weathered Hurricane Sandy and a week of no power.  Yup — medical leave for a brain explosion and a fucking hurricane rips through NYC.  Luckily, I have cousins and friends who took care of me until Bloomberg got the power back on in Alphabet City. 

11. I went back to work.  Also a tear jerker.  I was still so ill and could barely function.  I will dedicate an entire blog entry to exhaustion at some point.  It has a whole new meaning to me post brain bleed.

12. In February, I had eyeball surgery.  A really big deal because now I can see again.  Here’s another beautiful photo of me from after that procedure.  (Notice how short my bangs were.)

13.  I celebrated my one year Anniversary on August 17, 2013.  Party at my place. Thanks to everyone who planned it, came and supported me through that.  It was a great night. At least the parts I remember.  I’m looking forward to my second anniversary party as well. You’re all invited — just don’t expect me to cook anything.  I don’t do that anymore.

14.  I went to Dollywood.  Unrelated to my brain explosion — but I’ve always wanted to go to Dollywood — and it totally lived up to all my expectations and more.  I would go back in a heartbeat.  And even though my brain burst, I’m still allowed to go on roller coasters according to my brain doctor.  And I did.

15.  I went back to Japan for the first time since I lived there over 20 years ago.  As I’ve mentioned in previous posts — that too was a really big deal for me. I had a great experience — and I’m thankful to Wakako, Hiroko and Jeannie for making it so special. You made me like Japan a lot.

16.  I found out that Fucker the Psychopath was actually a sick, demented Psychopath.  Before that, I thought he was pretty cool. And cute. What a fucking idiot I was.

17.  I started a blog.

18.  My bangs grew long enough for them to hook behind my ears.

Amazing milestones I think…..Believe it or not, I still have so much more to tell you.  Brain explosions make for good fodder.  More soon……..