Well. Why wouldn’t I? Lou Rawls, Stevie Wonder and Macy Gray are all pretty amazing names aren’t they?

Lou Rawls was the first cat that I did this weird naming thing to. And he was such an asshole of a cat. My lord, he was nasty. I loved him, but he really was a piece of work. And majorly fat. And when he was a kitten, he scared the ConEd meter reading man so much that he wouldn’t come into our apartment ever again. (I adopted Lou when I was in grad school and living with two roommates near Union Square. Eek. I just realized that apartment was above 14th Street by a few blocks. I guess I was still young and didn’t realize I need to be below 14th Street whenever possible.)

OK. Back to Lou. He was so nasty, he would just take a swipe at you when you walked by him. Just for the fuck of it. You never knew if you were going to get love from Lou. Or pain. I always thought that if a cat could actually talk, it would be Lou. And he would wear jeans and a wife beater. And smoke cigarettes. One time I actually thought he was about to say something to me. The sounds were so human like. But alas, he was just getting ready to puke.

Like his mama (me), Lou had brain issues. He died at age 11 in my current apartment from a brain tumor. A week after his papa the REAL Lou Rawls passed. How crazy is that? As much as I was often terrified by Lou, he could also be very loving, and we were close. I will always remember him fondly for his unique and persnickety personality.

After Lou died, my apartment seemed lonely and empty. I didn’t want to betray him by getting another cat to replace him, so I decided to get two. I knew for sure that I wanted a cat named Steve, so Stevie Wonder seemed like the logical next step. So off I went looking for two kittens, one of which I would name Stevie Wonder.

And boy did I find Stevie Wonder. At the risk of sounding completely insensitive and totally un PC, my Stevie Wonder is retarded. It’s just a fact. There is just no other word for him. I’m sorry. He was born with a damaged cerebellum (yup, another brain issue), and he swings his head around like the real Stevie Wonder trying to keep his balance in check. Please don’t feel sorry for my Stevie Wonder. He is the happiest cat on the planet. You have never met a nicer cat than Stevie. His idea of fun is to run in the same circle over and over again for hours. He is just love love love 24/7.

Macy Gray is my solidly sweet girl cat. I often feel sorry for her because she is just so loyal and so sweet and she doesn’t get near the deserved attention that the asshole Lou and retard Stevie got and get.

Sorry I went all cat lady on you. I just thought that I should focus on something other than my poor damaged brain as we head into the weekend. At least I didn’t post the Carly Rae Jepson Call Me Maybe video I shot of Stevie and Macy. Although I will if I get any requests. I hope you will still keep reading. Talk to you next week.